• Iron Maiden - THE BOOK OF SOULS

    Image: Iron Maiden, The Book of Souls, Review, Classic Metal, Pitriff, Chris Akin Iron Maiden


    They don’t do it that often anymore, but there’s always excitement when Iron Maiden comes out with new music. Knowing that they are closing in on the end of their career, you really do end up hoping that when they go out for good, it will be with a bang. I think it’s universally agreed upon that

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  • Slayer - REPENTLESS

    Image: Slayer, Repentless, Pitriff, Review, Thrash Metal, Chris Akin Slayer


    Probably more than any release in their history, Slayer came into releasing this album at a crossroads. This WAS the album that, in many ways, dictated if the band could continue on or if it was indeed time to drift off quietly to Hell. The loss of guitarist Jeff Hanneman and the removal of drummer Dave Lombardo had almost every Slayer

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  • Operation: Mindcrime - THE KEY

    Image: Operation Mindcrime, Geoff Tate, Reviews, Music, heavy metal Operation: Mindcrime


    Geoff Tate’s falling out and subsequent two years of lawsuits, multiple versions of the same band and overall craziness in the press definitely tarnished a legacy that once seemed untouchable. Think about it. Even with over a decade of arguably bad releases (Q2K, TRIBE, AMERICAN SOLDIER, DEDICATED TO CHAOS), it wasn’t until the now infamous spitting incident and the

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    Image: WASP, Golgotha, Blackie Lawless, Pitriff, Review, Heavy Metal W.A.S.P.


    W.A.S.P. is one of those bands that has a ridiculously loyal fanbase...and good for them, actually. Doing THE CLASSIC METAL SHOW, we get shit on repeatedly anytime we say anything that is less than glowing about W.A.S.P., Blackie Lawless or any of the band’s former or present members. Oh well...comes with the territory, I guess. After what seems like quite a

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  • Halestorm - INTO THE WILD LIFE

    Image: Halestorm, Into The Wild Life, Pitriff, heavy metal, reviews, interviews Halestorm


    With the release of THE STRANGE CASE OF…, I fell in love with Lzzy Hale. So much so, in fact, that I jokingly got down on one knee and asked her to marry me at Rock On The Range two years ago (a proposal that she didn’t flat out turn down, so maybe there’s still hope!!). Let’s be

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Image: Steel Panther, All You Can Eat, The Classic Metal ShowSteel Panther


They certainly are the joke that just keeps on being retold and being funny, now aren't they? I'm sure there's a lot less people that remember them as Metal Shop, Metal Skool or even way back to the Danger Kitty days, but a whole lot more people have discovered this band since they adopted the name Steel Panther. Having now honed their mock 80s craft as well as their lyrics about fucking stupid chicks, Steel Panther have returned with their most developed, best musical and yet still ridiculously silly lyrical experience to date. In the same fashion they have always chosen, ALL YOU CAN EAT goes to the most outlandish places to talk about getting pussy as it was experienced in the 80s "rock star" scene. Once again, it just works for these guys.

The thing most people forget about Steel Panther is that these guys really are world class musicians. Michael Starr used to be Ralph Saenz; the singer that was by far the best David Lee Roth impersonator ever as well as a one time lead singer of LA Guns. Guitarist Satchel used to be Russ Parrish, the guitarist for Rob Halford's Fight as well as many other name projects over the years. With that in mind, it's not surprising that the performance if this hair metal sounding music is world class and would have been well received from '87-'92 without the crazy lyrics. Just listening to the music on songs like "Gloryhole", you quickly realize that Steel Panther might have missed their musical mark by 30 years.

That said though, they have found their mark as the exaggerated parody of that scene that they represent. The lyrics of ALL YOU CAN EAT make the release, as have their past releases. Filthy beyond any standard of decency and yet comical in much the way a headliner comedian might be at your favorite venue, the songs on ALL YOU CAN EAT will make you laugh...hard! The level of absurdity they go to is pretty much limitless, and yet you can't help but listen, laugh out loud and just think, "yup, that's pretty much what I expected from Steel Panther". Songs like "Gangbang At The Old Folks Home" take things to the most perverse of places that the normal human mind just doesn't go to. Other songs, like "Bukkake Tears" are the essence of what Steel Panther does. If you are casually listening, you might think it's just a mid-tempo ballad from the 80s and never realize that the song is about degrading a sad chick with a cum facial. This is, ultimately, what Steel Panther thrives at doing - creating songs that musically could have been hits in a day gone by, and filling them with sexual depravity generally reserved for locker room or barroom talk amongst shit talking guys. And it works about as well as it can. If you get the joke, you will love ALL YOU CAN EAT. If you don't, you are a prude anyway and would never understand this band in the first place.

PITRIFF RATING - 91/100 - ALL YOU CAN EAT is as strong a release as this band has put together since their inception - regardless of the band name being used. It's comedy and hair metal, which is about the best combination of material you can give a 40 something like me. Well worth the listen.

Image: Cause/Effect Metallica, Chris Akin

A look at one of the most polarizing, iconic and best selling albums of all time from author, rock critic and shock jock radio host Chris Akin.


Buy Now:  Paperback    Digital

Image: Little Victories, Book, Chris Akin

The shockingly honest and emotional first book from radio personality and rock critic Chris Akin.

CLICK HERE to learn more about LITTLE VICTORIES.

Buy Now:  Paperback     Digital


Available January 13th in Paperback and Digital Formats on Amazon and iTunes.

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