• Black Stone Cherry - KENTUCKY

    Image: Black Stone Cherry, Kentucky Black Stone Cherry


    This collection of southern boys are not the most original band in the world. They’ll never be accused of being the most musically gifted fellas in the world. Certainly, no one will ever listen to them and think, “wow, that’s really cutting edge music”. To the contrary though, release in and release out, the same thought comes to mind

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  • Zakk Wylde - BOOK OF SHADOWS II

    Image: Zakk Wylde, Book Of Shadows II Zakk Wylde


    Sequels to albums, at least in my listening experience, are generally poor. The two that immediately jump to mind for me are Rob Zombie’s HELLBELLY DELUXE 2 and Meat Loaf’s BAT OUT OF HELL 2. Both releases were pretty lame, and garnered attention solely because they were named after much more historic releases in their creator’s career.

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Image: Steel Panther, All You Can Eat, The Classic Metal ShowSteel Panther


They certainly are the joke that just keeps on being retold and being funny, now aren't they? I'm sure there's a lot less people that remember them as Metal Shop, Metal Skool or even way back to the Danger Kitty days, but a whole lot more people have discovered this band since they adopted the name Steel Panther. Having now honed their mock 80s craft as well as their lyrics about fucking stupid chicks, Steel Panther have returned with their most developed, best musical and yet still ridiculously silly lyrical experience to date. In the same fashion they have always chosen, ALL YOU CAN EAT goes to the most outlandish places to talk about getting pussy as it was experienced in the 80s "rock star" scene. Once again, it just works for these guys.

The thing most people forget about Steel Panther is that these guys really are world class musicians. Michael Starr used to be Ralph Saenz; the singer that was by far the best David Lee Roth impersonator ever as well as a one time lead singer of LA Guns. Guitarist Satchel used to be Russ Parrish, the guitarist for Rob Halford's Fight as well as many other name projects over the years. With that in mind, it's not surprising that the performance if this hair metal sounding music is world class and would have been well received from '87-'92 without the crazy lyrics. Just listening to the music on songs like "Gloryhole", you quickly realize that Steel Panther might have missed their musical mark by 30 years.

That said though, they have found their mark as the exaggerated parody of that scene that they represent. The lyrics of ALL YOU CAN EAT make the release, as have their past releases. Filthy beyond any standard of decency and yet comical in much the way a headliner comedian might be at your favorite venue, the songs on ALL YOU CAN EAT will make you laugh...hard! The level of absurdity they go to is pretty much limitless, and yet you can't help but listen, laugh out loud and just think, "yup, that's pretty much what I expected from Steel Panther". Songs like "Gangbang At The Old Folks Home" take things to the most perverse of places that the normal human mind just doesn't go to. Other songs, like "Bukkake Tears" are the essence of what Steel Panther does. If you are casually listening, you might think it's just a mid-tempo ballad from the 80s and never realize that the song is about degrading a sad chick with a cum facial. This is, ultimately, what Steel Panther thrives at doing - creating songs that musically could have been hits in a day gone by, and filling them with sexual depravity generally reserved for locker room or barroom talk amongst shit talking guys. And it works about as well as it can. If you get the joke, you will love ALL YOU CAN EAT. If you don't, you are a prude anyway and would never understand this band in the first place.

PITRIFF RATING - 91/100 - ALL YOU CAN EAT is as strong a release as this band has put together since their inception - regardless of the band name being used. It's comedy and hair metal, which is about the best combination of material you can give a 40 something like me. Well worth the listen.

Image: Cause/Effect Metallica, Chris Akin

A look at one of the most polarizing, iconic and best selling albums of all time from author, rock critic and shock jock radio host Chris Akin.


Buy Now:  Paperback    Digital

Image: Little Victories, Book, Chris Akin

The shockingly honest and emotional first book from radio personality and rock critic Chris Akin.

CLICK HERE to learn more about LITTLE VICTORIES.

Buy Now:  Paperback     Digital


Available January 13th in Paperback and Digital Formats on Amazon and iTunes.

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